Most leaders don’t struggle with knowing something is off – they struggle with how to say it.
In a previous post, we explored how to determine whether a situation calls for coaching or discipline.
When the answer is coaching, the next question becomes:
How do you approach the conversation in a way that supports performance and growth – and what do you actually say?
A coaching conversation is not corrective in tone.
It is supportive, clear, and forward-focused.
The goal is to:
- bring awareness to concerns
- clarify expectations
- create a path forward that supports success
Coaching is increasingly seen as a core leadership practice – embedded in how organizations support performance, culture, and long-term development.
Preparing for the Conversation
Strong coaching conversations begin before the meeting.
Come prepared with:
- clear observations of behaviour
- specific examples (patterns, dates, impact)
- potential supports
This preparation keeps the conversation grounded – not reactive.
Addressing concerns early prevents escalation and reinforces your role as a steady, present leader.
Setting the Tone
The tone is set in the first few minutes.
Be explicit:
This is not a disciplinary conversation.
Without that clarity, many employees assume the worst – and the conversation becomes defensive before it even begins.
Keep the setting:
- private
- calm
- focused
During the Conversation
Focus on three things:
1. Clarity
Share observed behaviours with specific examples.
Explain the impact on the team, work, or outcomes.
2. Understanding
Pause and invite their perspective.
Context often changes the direction of the conversation.
3. Support
Ask what would help.
Agree on a path forward and establish follow-ups.
Leadership development increasingly depends on continuous, real-time support and feedback – not one-time conversations.
This is why coaching does not end with the conversation.
It continues through consistent check-ins and availability.
Examples of Support You Can Offer
Support will look different depending on the situation, but having options prepared can make the conversation more productive.
This may include:
- additional training or skill development
- shadowing or mentorship opportunities
- more frequent one-on-one check-ins
- clearer expectations or written priorities
- review of policies or procedures
- workload adjustments or reprioritization
- time management tools or structure
- real-time feedback instead of delayed feedback
- pairing with a peer for support on specific tasks
The goal is not to solve everything immediately – but to show that support is available and collaborative.
After the Conversation: Documenting and Following Through
Documentation is an important part of coaching.
After the meeting, capture:
- what was discussed
- key examples raised
- agreed-upon next steps and supports
- timelines or follow-up checkpoints
A simple way to do this is through a follow-up email summarizing the conversation. Let them know a follow-up email will summarize the discussion.
This creates clarity for both you and the employee – and ensures alignment moving forward.
It also helps establish a consistent record of the support that has been provided.
Where applicable, work with your HR team to ensure your approach aligns with workplace policies, processes, and any collective agreement requirements.
A more structured approach to documenting coaching conversations – including what to capture, how to phrase it, and how to use it over time – will be shared in a future resource.
When Coaching Needs to Progress Further
Coaching is intended to support improvement.
If behaviour does not improve over time – despite clear expectations, support, and follow-up – the situation may need to move into a more formal process.
This may include discipline, depending on the circumstances, your workplace policies, and any applicable agreements. As needed, work with your HR team to ensure alignment with workplace expectations.
Approaching coaching thoughtfully helps ensure that, if next steps are required, they are grounded in fairness, clarity, and consistency.
When Additional Support Is Needed
If a health or personal concern is raised, work with your HR team to shift your approach.
Focus on support, flexibility, and on providing appropriate resources to support their wellbeing.
A Simple Tool for Coaching Conversations
Not sure what to say in a coaching conversation?
This script gives you a clear, supportive structure you can use in the moment. Available as a free download.
Something calm.
Grounded.
Easy to return to when the conversation matters.
Informed by real-world experience in HR and people leadership. A simple structure you can come back to when it matters.
Looking for more support? Explore the full collection of practical tools, scripts and frameworks for coaching, performance and workplace conversations in the Resources library.